[2010::Braunschweig, Germany, 2012::129 Gallery::Berlin, Germany]
I listen to myself
in my head
I wrote a little program that triggers the voice says “yes” and “no” at random interval, mixed with white noise and low frequency sine wave. The words are split into both channels; “yes” to left speaker and “no” to the right. I made a small, closed “room” between two speakers by fastening them together. This tiny closed room, sealed securely, physicalize the binary nature of computer system as schizophrenic being. “Alex” does not actually generates a feedback sound or it does not expand himself to the external spaces as the child but actually it resembles even more to the closed system that I’ve imagined because the thing is actually closed. The invisible space inside loudspeaker structure is filled with yet another kind of feedbacking; the process of reflecting on existential questions while still existing as a human being. The input being the questions and this questions had to be connected directly to the output which immediately lead to input (= questions) again because the questions just can’t go out from the headspace, it can not overcome the general conditions to be a human being. If one tries too hard, then as Albert Camus excellently describes in his essay “the myth of sisyphus”, the logical conclusion comes out to be suicide. Thus the decision to hang alex’s head was quite obvious while following that logic.